Have you ever looked up and realized you’ve given more than you have? That there is literally no more you, and you have no clue what happened? Then you my friend are a giver. You have been put here by the universe to balance out all the takers. Without you a black hole would open-up and suck everyone inside. You are needed even if no one ever says so. I see you. I value you. I appreciate you. I know the sad part about being a giver is never understanding when and where to draw the line. Because sometimes the takers believe they are the givers and lines get crossed, confused and blurred. The sheer difference in the givers are we do it without knowing we are empty. Saying yes to every request. Yes, to teaching 12 classes, and week, and still saying yes to your own 7 days a week personal practice. Yes, to friends who need to vent, and be reassured. Yes, to family demands that affect your own well-being. Yes, to work overloads. Yes, to saving even the un-rescuable. Yes, to bad relationships. Yes, to settling. Yes, to accepting mistreatment, because these types of things happen. Yes, to others mistakes because well it was everyone’s fault. Yes! Yes! Yes! And through all those Yeses you’ve never asked yourself once do I have all these yeses to give?
See givers don’t believe they can burn out, because believing in themselves comes last. Givers believe the river of kindness will somehow be replenished when anyone notices that you are empty. No, my giver friend, takers never give. Tis not in their nature. And even the people we love the most can be takers. Not ever meaning to suck you dry. See if you are a giver, right now as you read this you’re thinking; No I can stop. I know when I’ll need a break. I’ll say no soon. No, you won’t. You will continue to give until there is no more of you, and you’ll burnout like a star in the universe only to take one last breath to of course give again to light another giver.
I say all this to say STOP! Allow the world to function without your gives just for a moment. The sheer beauty of a taker is they will find another. Even the Sun rest every evening. The Winter changes to Spring and Summer picks up when Spring can’t bear any longer. You must rest. Stop. Pause and let others take elsewhere. I am only telling you this because I too am a Giver, and still have not mastered the art of pausing, stopping, and saying No. So, I hide. Retreat, and soon resent. So here I am giving you the 6 commandments to live by as a giver.
1. Say No!
2. Realize you cannot do it all!
3. Don’t be afraid to let others down!
4. Enjoy your alone time!
5. Embrace doing nothing!
6. Say No again!
The darker months are fast approaching and it allows the universal pull to slow down, even the takers request and demands are fewer, so start now. Ready yourself for a much-needed break. Close your doors to your heart, pull the blinds down in your mind, and cuddle up in the blanket of your soul. Refill your weary selves. Don’t fear that others will need you because they will always need someone. Take solace in knowing it won’t be you, you have locked the doors and the sign now reads… Off Duty!!